


Maybe Something More

by floatingpetals



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Human Experimentation, Mentions of Blood, Mutant Character, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, past trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 21:38:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16840903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floatingpetals/pseuds/floatingpetals
Summary: Mae is a newer Avenger who struggles to come to terms with everything that’s happened in her hidden past. Because of it, she can’t seem to accept her feeling for a certain dark haired super soldier, who tries everything to get Mae to open up. After given a long mission teamed with him, she’s afraid such close proximity to the man in question will only make it harder to ignore her feelings for him.





	1. Chapter 1

“You ready for this mission?” Natasha asked as she jumped over the back of the couch, landing with her legs crossed on the cushion. Mae glanced up at her from the magazine, before huffing and looking back at the article.

“Ready as I’m going to be.” Mae hummed, rereading the same line for the tenth time. In all honesty, Mae was panicking a little inside. This wasn’t her first mission since she joined the Avengers, but this was her first mission in a team that included the one man she was nervous the most about; Buck Barnes. Not that he made her nervous per se, just that she had feelings for the man, and couldn’t find it in herself to be okay with it. The others in the tower had similar ‘qualities’ such as hers’, she found it harder to accept her ‘gift’ more than the others. Because of that, Mae didn’t feel it was smart, nor did she think she deserves any kind of relationship with Bucky, beyond them being teammates. So, she never spent more than a few moments in the room with him, the longest being the meeting that briefed them on this mission. The second they were cleared to leave, Mae darted from the room to start packing. And that’s where she found herself, an hour later sitting on the couch in the common room.

Natasha watched Mae’s inner conflict, a soft smile growing as she put the pieces together. Natasha knew about Mae, knew some of what Mae was capable of. Of course, it was by pure accidental luck that she came across it. Mae had been in the kitchen making a cup of tea. Thinking she was in the clear, she skipped the long process of boiling the water, instead poured the water straight into the cup. Right as she lifted the cup with the cool water towards her lips, Natasha turned the corner. One moment the cup was cool, the next second steam rose from the surface of the water as Mae blew hot air while heating her palms against the cup. Natasha watched, amazed as Mae set the cup down, and moved to get her tea infuser with the leaves, Mae’s back still towards the assassin. Natasha cleared her throat, biting the inside of her cheek when Mae let out a squeak and spun around. Wide-eyed and suddenly realizing her worst nightmare, Mae froze. Natasha wouldn’t stop until she got answers, and after making Natasha her own tea the same way Mae made hers, Mae spilled her secret. Ever since then, the two had been inseparable. Natasha taught Mae all she knew and helped her through her inner turmoil the best she could. When they were selected to be in a team with Steve and Barnes, Natasha wasn’t surprised to see Mae dart from the meeting room the second they were cleared. 

“You know it’s not going to be as bad as you think it will.” Natasha tried. Mae sighed and closed the magazine with a snap.

“It’s not that, it’s just…” Mae took a moment to gather her thoughts, to figure out what it really was. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this yet.”

“Of course, you are!” Natasha took the magazine and tossed it to the coffee table. She reached forward and gripped Mae’s hand. “You’ve done missions before, you can do this too.”

Mae shook her head. It just wasn’t the same. “Those have been all solo missions or missions with you. I’ve never had to worry about hiding my powers before. Now I’ll have to think twice before each move, find another way around everything-.”

“Or you could just come clean.” Natasha interrupted. While she respected Mae’s need to keep her powers a secret, she still didn’t understand what the girl was ashamed of. Natasha didn’t know the whole truth of Mae’s past, just what she gave her.

“It’s not that easy, Nat.” Mae sighed again, pulling her hands from Natasha’s grip. Before she could continue, a loud pair of footsteps echoed through the halls, pulling the two’s attention towards the archway.

Steve came through first, smiling warmly at the women on the couch. Bucky followed close behind, his expression neutral until he caught sight of Mae on the couch. His eyes lit up, and grin slid in place. Natasha smirked when she saw the look, aware that nothing else in the world mattered to Bucky that wasn’t Mae. Mae, however, completely ignored the dark-haired soldier. Instead, she chose to grab the magazine once more.

“You two ready for tomorrow?” Steve asked as he plopped down on the love seat, reaching for the TV remote. Bucky made his way around the couch and sat on the opposite side of Mae, frowning slightly when he saw her tense. Mae shuffled as subtly as possible towards Natasha, out of Bucky’s space that was suddenly too close.

“I think we are. It didn’t sound like it’s going to be anything to difficult. I’m still not sure why Fury wants all five of us to go with.” Natasha answered leaning back on the cushions, watching as Steve flipped through channels till he settled on American Pickers. “We’ve seen this episode.”

Steve snorted, “You’ve seen this episode when you deleted it from the DVR while I was gone on a two-week mission. I still haven’t seen it because of that.” Natasha rolled her eyes.

“It’s been three months, are you still not over that?” Natasha whined. Mae raised an eyebrow at her, her lips pressed in a tight line to keep from grinning.

“Nope,” Steve answered simply, his attention still glued to the screen. “And I think Fury wants to make sure we get this done right. It’s not overly complicated, but one wrong move could be bad if just one or two of us.”

“But why choose Clint and I?” Mae was still a little confused as to why she was selected, Clint was normally on whatever team Natasha went on. “Bucky’s a good sniper, and then you two are fine with the combat, why have us too?”

Steve pulled his gaze away from the TV to Mae. He wouldn’t admit it aloud, but he was thinking the same thing. Mae shifted in her seat when she was met with silence, wondering just what she said wrong.

“Probably because we’re better in bigger numbers.” Bucky shrugged. Mae looked at him for the first time this day, and quickly regretted it. Bucky locked eyes with hers’, his deep sea blue eyes pulling her deeper in. That little voice inside of her told her to give up on her excuses, that just maybe he felt the same thing she did too. Her breath caught in her throat when Bucky’s startled expression morphed into a pleased look. His smile caused small crinkles in the corner of his eyes, that smile sending her stomach into a tither. Ripping her eyes away from his, she stared back at the magazine hoping to calm her beating heart. Bucky sighed, a little hurt at her sudden rejection. Before things could become more awkward between them, Clint walked in the room, munching on a bag of chips. It took him one glance around the room to figure something just happened between Mae and Bucky.

“Hey, guys.” He forced himself into the open space between Mae and Bucky, ignoring the small growl the larger man-made. He wasn’t oblivious like the others. It also didn’t help that he was best friends with Natasha. While the woman never went into details about the ‘secret’ she would ramble on about whenever she had too much to drink, Natasha had hinted at Mae’s attraction towards Bucky and vice versa. It wasn’t hard to see it once it was brought to someone’s attention, it also wasn’t hard to see that Mae was fighting it at every corner. While Natasha saw herself as an older sister to Mae, Clint saw himself as an older brother. And if Mae wasn’t comfortable with Bucky, even with her hidden feelings, he’d make sure she was safe from that.

“Clint, Tony’s going to kill you, you know.” Natasha chastised, reaching across Mae to dig into the bag. “You shouldn’t eat on the couch.”

“We’re leaving at four in the morning to go on a four-week long mission. If he’s still upset over this when we get back, I suggest therapy.” Mae giggles and reached into the bag when Clint offered it her way. In her opinion, Tony was always a little uptight about food on the couch, but she could understand his dislike of it when he found a drumstick tucked between the cushions of the love seat.

The five didn’t say anything else, instead chose to settle in and watch the American Pickers marathon. Natasha was the first to turn in after the sixth episode, with Clint close behind. Steve had already passed out, sprawled out on the love seat, his soft snores signaling him in a deep sleep. That only left Bucky and Mae sitting apart awkwardly, both hyper-aware of the other. Mae wanted to leave, but she couldn’t find the will to get up and leave Bucky. Even though she wasn’t comfortable around him, something about him calmed her just enough to forget her worries. Just when she began to relax, Steve let out a particularly loud snort, which cause the two of them to whip their heads towards him, startled. They both exchanged a look and broke down into a set of giggles.

“I guess that’s a sign that we should both go to bed ourselves,” Mae sighed, glancing at her watch. She groaned when she saw the time. “We have to be up in five hours.” Bucky made a noise of disgust but made no move to get up.

“I think I’ll just sleep on the couch. I have no desire to get up.” He mumbled, sinking lower into the corner of the couch. Mae laughed and shook her head.

“Well, you do that.” She stood, stretching her arms across her chest. “I’m going sleep in my bed one last time.”

Bucky hummed, watching her with heavy-lidded eyes as she moved around the coffee table towards Steve. She carefully extracted the remote from his grip and handed it to Bucky.

“I’ll see you two in the morning. Goodnight, Buck.”

Bucky mumbled a goodnight, his eyelids growing heavy with each second. He hadn’t realized just how exhausted he was until she came back with two blankets, covering Steve with one before turning to him. He blinked up at her slowly, his body moving on his own with a little bit of coaxing from Mae. He didn’t have much time to process things before he found his legs up on the couch and the blanket tucked around him. Mae whispered another goodnight, and her fingers brushing the hair out of his face was the last thing he remembered as the TV shut off, engulfing the room in total darkness.

Mae smiled when she saw him slip out of consciousness, that little voice in her mind having won this battle just this once. Not something she was going to let happen often. She sighed to herself as she made her way towards her room to rest as much as she could before the next longest four weeks of her life


	2. Chapter 2

Mae shifted uncomfortably in her spot, glaring at Steve who was crapping out rainbows way too early in the morning. He grinned at her when he caught sight of her glare. Which of course only annoyed Mae more.

“How the hell do you manage to do it?” She snapped, though there was hardly any bite.

“Manage what?” Steve blinked innocently. Mae opened her mouth to retort, but a coffee cup appeared under her nose and cut her short. The rich aroma hit her senses and she could already feel the caffeine doing its job. She went to grab the cup from the hand that held it, turning to thank whoever it was, but stopping short. Bucky had a soft smile on his face, his ocean blues sparkling brightly for four in the morning.

“I figured you’d need this with such little sleep we got.” He chuckled, the sound just as rich as the coffee smell. Mae shivered, and gingerly took the cup from him. “Black with one and a half sugar, right?”

“Thank you.” Mae nodded, her cheeks turning a bright red. How did he manage to not only do that but know exactly what she preferred? She took a big gulp, ignoring the burn as it went down the back of her throat. Bucky chuckled again and moved around her to gather his bag that Steve had pulled out of his room.

Mae stood, rooted in the spot as she watched the two super soldiers interact. She was so deep in her thoughts, she didn’t even hear when Natasha slipped up next to her, looking between Mae and the two soldiers. Mae tried to ignore the flutter in her stomach every time he would grin at Steve. The stupid voices in her head kept nagging, reminding her that he could look at her the same way. All she had to do was give up, she deserved to be loved as she wanted. It was too early for Mae to argue, and the more she stood and stared, the more she forgot about why she was avoiding her feelings.

“You know, you’re doing a really bad job at hiding it,” Natasha spoke up, nudging Mae with her hip. Mae jumped, spinning to glare at Natasha.

“Would you shut up. They’ll hear you.” Mae hissed, giving Natasha’s side a discreet jab. Natasha snorted and moved away with a shake of her head. Honestly, Mae was too easy sometimes. She watched Mae turn back to observing the two soldiers, her face blanks except for the occasional flicker of interest when Bucky would move. At one point, Mae’s face pinched, letting out a soft snarl as she shook her head. Natasha would catch her doing that several times throughout the day, and Mae would always joke it was the voices in her head. Sometimes, Natasha wondering just how true that was. She shrugged that thought off and went to collect her things.

Clint emerged shortly after, sleep still evident in his eyes as he rubbed them. He muttered a hello followed by a loud yawn as he slung his pack with his bow and arrows over his shoulder. Steve nodded to the bowman, looking at the clock on the wall. Exactly 4 am.

“Alright team lets head out. We’ve got a long trip ahead of us.” Steve switched into ‘Captain Mode’ motioning for the four of them to slip into the quinjet. Bucky held back a moment until Mae stepped up beside him. He flashed a smile at the smaller woman, who returned it with less enthusiasm. While Bucky chalked it up the caffeine still not in Mae system, Mae wasn’t ready for this mission. She just wanted to crawl back in bed and forget the whole thing. That would mean Fury breathing down the back of her neck, and that scared her more than her mixed feelings by just enough to keep her from doing exactly that. This was going to be a long, fun trip, she thought dryly.


	3. Chapter 3

Several hours later, and quite honestly too many close encounters with Bucky for Mae’s liking, the group finally landed.

“Alright, lets head to the rendezvous place and we'll head to out temporary base. We’ll rest for today, but tomorrow we got to get to it.” Steve said grabbing his pack. The rest of the group followed suit, and followed him out the jet. It was a walk to their base, along extremely difficult walk for Mae. Bucky continuously tried to start up a conversation with her, or her least favorite part, he would continuously brush against her. For some reason, he just had to be in her personal space the entire eight-mile trek. Something she repeatedly asked him what possessed him to keep doing. Each time, she would get that same stupid smirk that never failed to make her knees go weak. It was like he knew she was fighting her feelings and was doing everything he could to drive her crazy. Eventually, she moved opposite of Clint, who threw his arms around her shoulders. That hardly kept her safe from Bucky, but it did keep him at bay for the remainder of the trek.

Finally, the base came into view, and Mae all but sprinted to the building. An old cabin was tucked in the small clearing of the forest, the overhang of the tree canopy’s hiding the roof from the sky. It looked old and worn on the outside, but if what Tony had said was true, the inside was recently cleaned and ready for the five to spend the next few weeks there. Steve chuckled at her enthusiasm, shaking his head as she darted past him.

“We have to sweep the area first.” He called after her, but she was already darting through the trees of the surrounding area to do just that. Not that she needed to, Mae had thought blandly. One of her gift was to sense the vibrations in the Earth. And the only vibrations she received on her end, were the five of them and the occasional wildlife. The voice pipped back in, telling her to tell them all how she knew. It would cause problems later. Mae shushed them. Now wasn’t the time for that. 

“Clear.” She called once circle the building to return to the group. Natasha shook her head at Mae, aware that the clearing was already swept before they even hit the area. It was one reason why she loved taking Mae on missions, the girl made everything so much easier. All she had to do was touch the ground and she knew everything about everyone’s location for the next five miles. That of course, wasn’t the only trick of Mae sleeve, and Natasha was hoping that this mission forced Mae to use her other gifts as well. Forced was rather harsh, but Natasha didn’t understand just what Mae was so ashamed of. Maybe giving in and telling the others would help lessen that shame. 

Steve looked around the area, double checking. He hadn’t ever been on a mission with Mae before, and he wasn’t doubting her right off the bat, but he would still be skeptical. Mae huffed, crossing her arms against her chest. Was he really doubting her? In front of everyone? She gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes when he moved to walk through the area, shield in hand.

“Are you _fucking kidding me?”_ She hissed, as she rolled her eyes at the man.

“Language.” Steve snapped.

“Whatever, I’m going in to take a bath. You can waste your time if you want.” Mae grumbled, stomping over to the door. Ignoring the protests behind her, she walked to the door, her eyes moving along the logs that made up the wall beside the door. Tony told them where the hidden latch was, blended in with the wood of the grain. A small nick in the shape of a lightning bolt blended into the untrained eye, but when pressed it would pop open a small compartment. A slat opened to reveal the real key to the doorway, special chip engraved in the metal that wouldn’t set off the series of traps rigged around the base. Tony was always paranoid, with good reasons.

“Trust me, Cap, she knows what she’s doing.” Natasha patted his shoulder as she passed him. Clint hummed in agreement, having worked with her enough to know she had some special trait that let her know exactly where everything was at. He never asked, but it was always a question he wanted to know the answer too.

Natasha hopped up behind Mae as she swung the door open. Steve grumbled behind them, but followed behind after Bucky nudged him with his elbow. The two women b-lined straight towards the halls that led to the three rooms. It wasn’t until Mae did a sweep of the rooms that she realized there was only one bathroom. Her shoulders slumped at the thought of having to share the bathroom with four other people.

“Clint and I will share a room,” Natasha said as she flopped down onto a bed. Clint poked his head through the doorway, an eyebrow raise.

“We will?”

“Yup. Just like old times.” Natasha sighed into a pillow, nestling further into the mattress. Clint shrugged and tossed his pack into the room. He turned in the doorway and look between the three in the hall. With a shrug he shut the door, leaving them to figure things out between them.

“I guess Buck and I will share a room. Lucky, you.” Steve grinned, seemingly have forgotten whatever his issue with her from earlier. He brushed past her in the narrow hallway, picking his shared room. Mae turned to the end of the hall, expecting to see Bucky at the end. Instead, he was nowhere to be found. Mae tossed her bag into her room before she ventured off to go find the missing soldier.


	4. Chapter 4

Mae found Bucky in the kitchen, sifting through the fridge with a jar of mayo in hand. She took a moment to glance around the kitchen. Marble counters, dark wood cabinets with steel handles, what she could only assume were brand new appliances and a large island in the center. Sparkling brand new. The exact opposite of what the building looked like on the outside. How Tony managed this, she’d never figure out.

“Do you want anything to eat, doll?” Bucky asked without a glance over his shoulder.

“Sure, whatever your making.” Mae jumped onto a stool along the island. Bucky hummed in response, setting items down on the island behind him. After what she could only assume to be the entire fridge content pilled on the island, Bucky turned and started making them both sandwiches.

Words weren’t said between the other, just Mae watching Bucky as he made their late lunch. Mae didn’t mind it, in fact, she found it comforting just being in his presence. Something about him soothed her, made her forget anything that had happened in her past. The more she sat there, the more terrified it made her. The voices once again tried to jump in, but she slammed the metaphorical door in their faces. A plate slid in front of her, and a large, warm body took a seat next to her.

“You okay doll?” Bucky asked in between bites. Mae shook her head, taking a bite to keep from answering. She wasn’t ever going to admit a thing to him, about her fears. She wasn’t ever going to let him know the real reason why she was so tense around him. 

“Thank you for the food, Buck.” Bucky just shook his head, grinning at her. She was avoiding something, and while he wanted to know just what, he wasn’t going to push. He could tell it wasn’t something even she was ready to talk about.

“You gonna take that bath you planned on?”

“Probably after you guys take a shower. I know Nat wants to bathe.” As if on cue, the bathroom door opened and shut, followed with the shower turning on. Both Bucky and Mae looked back over their shoulders, laughing softly. 

“She’s pretty predictable.”

Bucky chuckled low, turning back around to face the bar. He had gone on enough missions to know that was usually the first thing Natasha did after a flight. It made her feel sticky and gross. He was surprised that wasn’t the first thing she did, instead of waiting to see if Mae would go first. Clearly, Mae hadn’t so Natasha had taken the chance. It also meant that Mae meant a lot more to Natasha than he knew.

“Well I guess that means I have you for a little bit longer then.” The low timber cause Mae to nearly choked on her sandwich. What was he implying? She spun in the chair, wide-eyed looking up at him. Bucky didn’t show he saw her turn, but the grin he tried to hide between bites told her otherwise. Mae humped, jabbing him in the side with her finger.

“Ha ha, Barnes.” She said with a roll of her eyes. Bucky laughed, jumping away from her well-placed pokes, which happened to be one of his ticklish spots. He tossed an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to his side still laughing under his breath. Mae made a noise of protest, struggling against his arm. _Too close_ , way too close for her liking. Well to be honest, not close enough. But she would never admit that out loud. Bucky kept his grip tight, a leg going to wrap around her chairs leg to slide it closer to him. His hand went from her shoulder and moved to rest on her hip, his fingers curling around her side to keep her close. He knew just what he was doing, which only aggravated Mae more.

Bucky continued to eat the last few bites of his lunch, nudging her to follow suit. Mae was finding it hard to concentrate, with his warm muscled body so close to her. Her sandwich sat unfinished on her plate, it’s owner still staring straight at the man who had her tucked under his right side. His finger flexed every few seconds, reminding her of just how tightly close he kept her. She could feel him breathing steadily as he chewed, his chest raising and falling with each inhale. Mae was closer than she had ever been to him before. She could make out a bit of green in his steel blue eyes, faint from so far away. 

“It’s not polite to stare doll.” His voice rumbled low, the vibration passing through his chest to her, and Mae nearly melted at the sensation. Immediately, her brain was filled with all the wicked things she wished to do with him, starting with licking a stripe up from the base of his neck to his chin. Mae recoiled. Where the hell had that come from?

“It’s not polite to touch people without their permission, Barnes.” She snarled, starting her struggle all over again. Bucky just hummed, stuffing the last of his sandwich in his mouth. Once he swallowed, he swooped in to bury his face in her neck. His lips brushed against her skin, sending shivers down her spine. Mae’s mind first thought was how soft his lips were, how they’d feel against hers. His other arm reached to grip her thigh to turn her towards him. Mae’s brain immediately short-circuited, all too much at once.

“Barnes” Mae yelped, her hand pushing against his chest. But he was a giant super soldier and he didn’t budge in the slightest.

“Sorry, but I just can’t help it.” He murmured against the hollow of her neck. Mae froze. What had he meant by that? “Just being around you calms my nerves, like everything is going to be okay just being near you. No ones ever caused to me to feel this way before. It’s addicting. You never let me close enough to get more of this.”

Mae sat straighter, finding it hard to breathe for a completely different reason than before. He couldn’t be serious, they hardly ever spent time together before, and now suddenly he was draped all over her like they had been best friends. No more than friends. And honestly, that scared her more than anything right now.

“Bucky…” Mae whispered softly, her voice shaking as she tightened her grip on his shirt. Bucky pulled back from her neck, his bright blue eyes staring up at her. Mae took in a shuddering breath, chewing on her bottom lip. Bucky’s eyes flicked down to watch her tug at her lip with her teeth, a groan bubbling up in his chest. He would catch her every so often, chewing her lips, and every time he found it harder to not cross whatever room they were and pull them from her teeth. He was overwhelmed with the need to kiss her, to soothe them with his own. He was so close to her right now, he could feel her warm breath fanning against his face. All he had to do was lean in and claim what was his. _His_ , he thought over. He liked the sound of that.

Mae gasped as he leaned up, closing the distance between the two of them, the tension growing the smaller the space became. Mae’s mind was screaming at her to move, while her heart protested for her to close the distance. Bucky’s lips had barely begun to brush against hers when the bathroom door swung open. Mae jumped back, nearly falling out of the chair. Bucky yanked his head back startled at her sudden recoil. Mae was too busy, stumbling out of the chair to see the annoyed expression cross over his face. Instead, she took the chance at her freedom to get as far away from him as she could. She mumbled an apology, her cheeks burning red, and stumbled out of the room.

Bucky let out a string of curse, slamming his flesh fist on the counter. He would have stood to follow her, but as soon as he made a move Steve walked in, rubbing his eyes.

“Hey Buck,” Steve mumbled, his voice thick from sleep. Bucky snorted and sat back down. 

“Did you fall asleep?”

“Hey, those beds are comfy.” Steve shot back, digging through the fridge. While Steve had his back to him, Bucky looked over his shoulder to Mae’s room. He wanted to get up and go see her, to finish what he started, but they had almost four weeks to build up to it. He had waited this long, he could wait a bit more.


	5. Chapter 5

**“** Alright **,** I need help,” Mae said as she swung open Natasha and Client’s door. She had escaped to her room an hour ago, but the pacing wasn’t helping her thoughts. She needed another opinion. The two looked up from their positions in the room, Natasha curled up next to the window in a chair while Clint laid on his back in the bed, legs propped straight up in the bed frame while he read a book.

“Is this a ‘girl help’ and I’m not invited, or can I not move?” Clint asked though Mae could tell from his tone he had no desire to get up. Mae shook her head and shut the door.

“I’m sure Natasha’s already told you almost everything anyway.” She shot the assassin a frown, who shrugged casually and turned back to her magazine. Sucking in air, Mae spoke about what had been eating her alive since that afternoon. “Bucky tried to kiss me.”

Both Clint and Natasha froze, then heads snapped in her direction.

“What?!” Mae flinched and immediately went to shush them.

“Would you please keep it down?! These walls aren’t exactly the thickest and the guy in question has superhuman hearing.”

Natasha waved a hand, dismissing her.

“Not important. When did he try?”

Mae hesitated, “When you were in the shower earlier.”

Clint whistled low. “He works fast.”

Mae shot him a glare, which had him wiping the grin off his face fast.

“What do I do?” Mae whined and she fell face first on the bed, landing beside Clint. Clint reached over to rub along her back, quietly laughing to himself.

“Drag him to your room and fuck his brains out?” Natasha offered as if it was the easiest solution. Clint let out a loud laugh, rolling over on the bed to rest on his stomach, head propped up on his fist. Mae’s head shot up, her cheeks bright red.

“Natasha!”

Natasha shrugged. “Well, it’s true. You want him, he wants you. What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal?! You know what the big deal is! I can’t-“ Mae paused glancing over to Clint who had sat up with a brow raised. Natasha was the only one, besides Fury, who knew about her powers and she wasn’t sure she was really wanting him to know.

“It’s aright, Clint will keep it a secret,” Natasha reassured. Mae was reluctant, but so far Clint had done nothing but protect her since she joined. Sighing, Mae turned back to Natasha.

“I can’t do it, not with everything that’s happened.”

“What about Bucky, with the shit he went through? He’s had it just as bad, if not significantly worse than you-”

“He wasn’t kidnapped as a child! He wasn’t used as a guinea pig to see what drug does what and if they can manifest powers! Yeah, what happened to him was horrible, but he was a different level of torture. He wasn’t strapped to a table and sliced open so that he bled out, only to have new ‘special’ blood shoved back in his veins after this shittiest patch job ever. He wasn’t physically broken day in and day out so that he wouldn’t find the strength to fight back. I had to live through all of that, I never was given the chance to forget. Trust me, they tried. But my DNA wouldn’t let me!” Mae was breathing hard, her eyes welling up with the painful memories she had buried deep down.

She would wake from nightmares to the feel of the dull scalpel cutting through her skin, could still feel her blood flowing out the open wounds as her body grew cold. She vividly remembered when they would come in and stitch her shut just enough that she wouldn’t bleed out, all without numbing medication. She still remembered the times she would wake up to them beating her, her powers having manifested too quickly and they were afraid she’d use them to her advantage to escape. She healed quickly so they would break her bones just as fast as it healed. There was never a moment in her childhood that she wasn’t in pain, wasn’t strapped to something, or chained to a wall.

Natasha and Clint sat back, they’re eyes wide. Mae never went in depth about her past with the company that had taken her. They hardly knew anything of it, not even S.H.I.E.L.D. could ever find details out about it. They only knew that she had managed to escape after blowing the whole corporation to bits after years of torture. Clint knew nothing about her, and Natasha only knew what Mae supplied. This was big for the bother of them. 

“Mae,” Natasha whispered softly, her hand moving up to gently take Mae’s wrist. Mae ripped her hand away as if burned, a small noise of distress bubbling up her throat. This was why she couldn’t find it in herself to be in any sort of relationship. They had broken her so many times she still found it hard to pick up the pieces. Part of her wished she could forget, that them trying to wipe her memories worked, but her genetic makeup was flawless, it would a stitch her mind back together, stronger than before. She remembered everything, all the pain inflicted on her, both mentally and physically. It was too perfect sometimes.

“Hey, okay. Breathe. You’re safe here with us.” Clint immediately pulled her into his chest, wrapping her safely up in his arms. Mae struggled to focus for a moment, her heart pounding in her chest. Clint ran a hand through Mae’s hair, whispering soft reassurance in her ear.

Natasha climbed onto the bed too, rubbing small circles on Mae’s back. She hummed a song softly under her breath, the only song that seemed to calm Mae. Soon her humming turned to the words, hoping it would distract her from the nightmares she was reliving.

> _“Nothings going to harm you, not while I’m around._
> 
> _No one’s going to hurt you, darling, not while I’m around._
> 
> _Demons are prowling everywhere nowadays._
> 
> _I’ll send them howling I don’t care, I’ve got ways._
> 
> _No ones gonna hurt you no ones gonna dare._
> 
> _Others can desert not to worry, whistle I’ll be there._
> 
> _Demons will charm you with a smile for a while but in time, nothing can harm you not while I’m around.”_

Mae sang softly to the words, using them as an anchor to pull her back. She knew she was in the middle of a panic attack, but she always found it hard to bring herself out of it. She found relief in that song, a reminder that she wasn’t alone. Clint joined in, softly rocking her in his arms. He had heard Natasha singing her that song before, but had never seen it in action like this. It broke his heart to see someone so kind and loving broken down like this.

It was several minutes later by the time Mae relaxed, her eyes slipping shut. Clint nudge her to sit up, though he didn’t let her out of his grip.

“Okay, so maybe taking it slow would be the best thing for you right now.” Natasha said with a snort. “but I don’t think you need to worry about what happened, and shouldn’t let that get in the way of your happiness.”

Mae shook her head and sniffed. “It’s not what you think though. I’m not even me. They took me apart and put me back together so many times I don’t know what’s real or fake anymore. I’m so screwed up. I can hardly take care of myself let alone be there for another person.”

Natasha sighed and squeezed her arm, “You don’t need to bring anything else up, just know that what’s happened to you in the past shouldn’t matter when it comes to your future. We’ve all done and had terrible things done to us in the past, but we must move forward. Holding on only hurts us more.”

Mae took her words in for consideration, her mind seeing the logic behind it, but not wanting to accept it. Natasha could see her working through it, and decided not to push it further.

“You have four weeks to figure everything out. You don’t need to decide right now. And knowing Barnes as well as I do, he wouldn’t pressure you if you say no. Don’t worry about it right now. Besides, we have a mission to focus on right now.”

Mae nodded and began untangling herself from Clint.

“I know. It was just so sudden and everything.”

“Not from where we’ve been sitting.” Clint snorted moving back to leaning against the headboard. Mae stood up from the bed and shot him a look.

“What do you mean?”

Clint glanced at Natasha who just shrugged.

“He’s been crushing on you since day one, he’s just been too scared to make a move. I guess he got tired of waiting.”

“What?” Mae asked in disbelief. There was no way. He hardly showed much interest before, then again, she never stayed in the same room with him for very long.

“It’s okay. I doubt he knows your crush on him so it’s pretty even.”

Mae’s face turned bright red, ducking her face away from sight. Natasha tutted, hitting Clint on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry about. Just focus on the mission for now. You’ll have plenty of time to get everything else figured out.” Natasha waved to Mae, signaling her to head out. “Get some rest. You and I are heading out first thing to get a look at the target location.”

Mae nodded opening the door. She paused in the opening, taking a deep breath.

“Right, see you in the morning. Night guys, and thank you.”


End file.
